


What the hell?

by JellyBeanOhMoorda



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, References to Depression, possible trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 00:45:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16882425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JellyBeanOhMoorda/pseuds/JellyBeanOhMoorda
Summary: Dean and Castiel meet at the hospital. They both are long-term patients and have some common interests. Sam and Charlie are constantly worrying about Dean's condition while Castiel doesn't have anyone. Will two lost souls become something more?





	1. Male Prostitutes?

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this about a year ago, so I apologize in advance if it isn't that good lmao

I wake up with a throbbing headache. The first thing I hear is, “ No brother. Please stop sending male prostitutes to my room. I am physically incapable of having sex and plus its just unsanitary for them to be in here. “ I stay quiet and let him finish, “ Gabriel if I have to smite one I will, now could you please stop sendi-... thank you, now will you let me recover in peace? It’s like you’d rather me suffer, wait you probably would “ He laughed and hung up the phone. 

“ Male prostitutes huh? “ I chuckle and try to use the rail to pull myself up but I felt a horrible pulsing in my ribs and leg. 

“ Yes, and I wouldn’t suggest you do that. Do you remember what happened to you or what your name is? “ 

“ Hm, no… damn it…. I was in a crash I think… Anyway, my name is Dean, I’m an Aquarius and I like frisky women… You are? “ 

“ I’m Cas, it’s nice to meet you “ His smile was absolutely breathtaking. I felt my cheeks get hot and I knew it was visible by the way he chuckled and looked down. 

“ So why are you here? “ I say calmly, trying to act cool. 

“ Long story short I fell off a ten-story building. “ He laughed then continued, “ I uh, I’ve been struggling with depression for years. My family hates me, I have made some really crappy decisions… I tried taking my life and shockingly it didn’t work. “ I noticed him tug down on his long sleeves. “ This isn’t my first failed attempt... Anyway, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t just vent to strangers… “ He looked down.

“ Hey, Cas? “ I waited for him to look up at me, “ Cas, sometimes we all need to talk it out. To vent. I’ve been right where you are many, many times. I think the burning started when I was, give or take, twelve and it started escalating around fourteen or fifteen to cutting. I have been ever since. My mom took off when I was four and my little brother was just an infant. Dad was so torn apart, he made us move constantly. One week here, one week there, the same routine for twenty-two years. The real dilemma about this whole thing was when he’d leave me and my brother alone in an empty, stranded hotel room for days. We didn’t have money for food so I’d have to steal to make sure he could eat. I remember one time Sammy ran away... And when dad came home... “ I felt my face freeze up so I clenched my eyes shut. I could still feel the burning on my back from dad’s hits. I opened my eyes and continued, “ Sometimes when Sam would get in trouble with dad, and I knew he was drunk, he would never touch him if he wasn’t, I would quickly move in between them and take the beatings instead. I remember asking him why he hit me… his response was and I quote, “ Sam is the favorite son and you are Daddy’s little soldier “. Now you can vent to me because I’m not a stranger. “ I smiled big yet polite. I saw him start to tear up so I tried to get up but I felt a sharp pain go down my spine and leg. 

“ No, it's fine, stay there. You broke your leg during the crash. “ He wiped his tears and calms down. When he looked back up at me he smiled and said, “ It's hard venting to people.who have had worse traumas or experiences worse than what I went through. I mean I can't compare and I sound like I'm whining. “ 

“ Everyone sees their own problems differently. Everyone feels pain on different levels. You're not whining, you're helping yourself by talking to someone. Now, I'm all ears cause it looks like we both will be here for a while. “ I smile and try to get comfortable again. 

“ Okay, if you're sure.. when I was young, I never really fit in among my brothers and sisters. I was pretty awkward and I didn't know how to react when they talked to me. Soon they stopped trying. Well, all except Gabe. Gabe always tried to talk to me when he could. One day I overheard him and dad talking. They were talking about how good of a job he was doing by getting me to come out of my shell. After that, I stopped talking to Gabe. It hurt so much to lose him “ He gripped the sheets,  
“ Furthermore, dad liked me the least. Whenever he had banquets I was the only one who wasn't allowed to join. I assumed it was because I was so awkward and didn't know how to talk to people. No. It was much more than that. He apparently hates my mother and I looked the most like her. After a while, I started to feel worthless. Worthless and alone. I started cutting around that time. It was so easy to hide. When I was done hiding it, I walked into the sitting room with short sleeves on, no one cared. Everyone looked the other way. After a while, I stopped hiding it all together. I'd cut or burn whenever I wanted and no one stopped me. That led to my first attempt. That's when my family put me in therapy. It helped for a while but soon enough I was back to my old self. It's like cutting was my release and I needed it more than anything. When I explained that to my therapist, she said I was being overdramatic and it was crazy. That I was crazy. That was when I was fifteen. When I was sixteen I ran away. No one looked for me or cared I was gone. I was gone for six months. When I went back they ignored my presence so I left and stayed gone. Oh, and I think I should mention that school was a bitch. Bullies were constant because I was awkward. I never had any friends either. Unlike everyone else I pretty much only wore black and when I started wearing brighter colors everyone stayed further away. After a while, I stopped caring. I didn't need anyone right? “ he looked at me to see if I was still listening,  
“ Wrong. I needed someone more than anything. When high school ended I got an apartment. I made friends online and went to support groups. That worked for a long time. I had gotten over self-harm and I was okay. Then my eldest brother, Luci, came over. He wanted to bring me home because dad wanted me. I didn't say yes. I fought and fought. But I still ended up going. I went to the Novak residence and stood before my father. He told me I was a disgrace to the family name but that I was still blood so I was still welcome at the house. I went back to my apartment and relapsed. This is when I started drinking as well. I, um, after a few weeks my drinking got better and I didn't as much. But I got a call from Gabe. He told me he wanted to hang out. He said he wanted to come see the apartment. I turned him down and he told me I was a piece of shit that doesn't deserve to live. That's when I fell off the ten story building. I climbed the stairs to my apartment and found myself on the roof. I walked to the edge and looked out. The city was so beautiful. I let my body fall and soon lost consciousness because of the shock. When I woke up, I was here. “

He tried to stop crying but it seemed it only made it worse. I stayed quiet to let him regroup. 

“ I'm sorry. I shouldn't have talked so much “

“ Cas, stop. Do not apologize. You needed that. Look I want to be your friend. You sound like a cool guy and I'm not letting you stay alone anymore. Warning now though, I'm a stubborn-ass and am will-minded. “ His frown soon turned into a big smile, “ As soon as we get out of here, we are going for burgers, what do you think? “  
He looked up at me with his big beautiful ocean blue eyes. “ Burgers sound great. “ Our nurse walked in and took his blood pressure then asked routine questions. She then did the same for me.

“ It’s good to see you awake Mr.Winchester. Now if either of you need anything don’t hesitate to hit that red button on your beds’ remote. Now if you will please excuse me, I have other patients to attend to. “ At that, she left. 

“ How long was I out? I mean it couldn’t have been long. “ 

“ You were out for about a day. Your brother never left your side, well unless he wanted food. He should be getting back any minute now. “ 

“ Do you two get along? “ I felt my hands get sweaty and my head started pounding again.


	2. Jerk - Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sammy!!! Sam is such an annoying little brother at times. This just so happens to be one of them.

“ Yes, but I don’t think he likes me that much. “ He laughed and Sam walked in with tears in his eyes. He ran over to my bed and knelt down, his hands clasped around my own.

“ I thought I lost you for good this time. You’re such a stupid idiot. “

“ Well, at least I don’t race like a bitch. “

“ I was racing safely jerk! “ We stared at each other very seriously but soon broke into laughter.

 

“ You raced good baby bro, now tell me, how is Baby? “  
He rolled his eyes and sat in the chair next to my bed, “ She took a beating but I know I can fix her up. “

 

“ If you have to build her from scratch keep the legos, toy army men and don’t touch our signatures. “ Sam gave me an epithetic look and I knew he would never ruin our childhood.

Cas looked utterly confused, “ Who is Baby? “

“ Baby is his car, but don’t let him hear you call it a car. “

“ She is a car, She. Don’t disrespect her like that, Baby is classy. “ I say as I shrug and fold my arms. “ Anyway, I do have a question for you though. If you hate your brothers so much and it’s vise-versa, then why were you on the phone with Gabriel when I woke up? You two sounded like you got along. “

“ Gabe and I are okay over the phone but not otherwise. “ He quickly perked up, “ So what is Baby? “

“ Oh, no... don’t get him started... “

 

“ Shut up Sam, Baby is a 67 Chevy Impala. Her engine- “

“ As I said, he doesn’t shut up about it. “

“ It’s cute, let him talk about Baby if he wants. “ He said with a smile.  
I just looked down, I’d rather Sam not finding out I’m gay this way, but so be it. I glanced up at my little brother who was smiling with pride. “ Dude, What are you smiling at? “

“ I knew it. I always knew it. “ He crossed his arms and leaned back. “ You try too hard to be butch, whenever a guy flirts with you, you shut down, you even coached a lesbian on how to flirt with a guy, it was pretty obvious. “

“ Wait… hold on… you knew and you never asked me? I woulda told you… “

“ No, you wouldn’t have. Your ego and pride are too high for you to admit it. “

“ What’s that supposed to mean?! “

“ What I just said! “ Cas chuckled in the back and we both looked at him.

“ You two are so childish. “

“ Well duh, what did you expect? “ I say crossing my arms while Sam is cackling in the background. “ Sam my leg may be broken my arms can still reach you and my hands can still slap you. “

Sam lifts his hands in surrender, “ What? I want this to work out. “ He looks up at Cas who is smiling really big. “ And I think he does too. “

“ Don't objectify hi- “

“ Sam, is it? Yea Sam's right. “ He fixed his posture and looked directly at me. I hoped he couldn't see the bright red blush on my face. “ He's smart, maybe you should learn something from him. “

“ Okay, don't be an ass, but yea I could learn a thing or two from that bitch. “

“ I'm right here guys. I mean I can teach you? “ His voice slowly getting higher while asking his question. I glared and he got the message. “ Visiting hours are almost over, is there anything I can do for you while I'm here? For either of you? “

“ Could you get me something to eat? God Sammy, I'm starving. “ I say wrapping my arms around my stomach.

 

“ Yea sure, I'll be right back. Do you want anything, Cas? I'm just getting him donuts. “  
Cas smiled in content, “ I'm okay, thank you. “ Sam left to the food court which left us alone. I didn't think about this when I asked Sam to get me food. “ So how old are you? I'm twenty-five. “

I smile, “ I'm twenty-six. Gonna be twenty-seven soon. Okay, so I do have a question. What did you mean by you would smite another prostitute? Like how would you do that? “  
He laughed then said, “ When we were little Gabe and I had this… game. We would play Angels and Gods. When we would “smite” each other we would just hit the other in the crotch. “

“ Oh, so you were just gonna hit a prostitute in the nuts if he kept sending them? Cool. “ I chuckle and uncross my arms.

“ I mean if I had to. I needed to prove a point. I’m not always this nice and charming. “

I chuckled and laid back. I closed my eyes and asked, “ Can you sing? “

“ I can, why do you ask? “

“ When Sam leaves for the night, could you sing for Me? “

“ If you would like me to, what song? “

I opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling, “ Hey Jude? My mom used to sing it to me when I was little. I'm sorry in advance if I fall asleep on you, that's how she would get me to sleep. “

He got up and sat on my bed, “ Would you like me to rub your arm too? Or even run my fingers through your hair? I used to do things like that to get my sister's to go to sleep. “

I smiled and closed my eyes. Sam walked in with my donuts and paused, “ Am I interrupting anything? “

“ No of course not Sam, I was just asking Dean some questions. “ He got up and slowly went back to his bed. He had a limp but was trying to hide it.

“ Alright, well here are your donuts. I'm gonna get going, I'll be here when the visiting hours open again. I'm not exactly sure when that is. Although I am going to Bobby's tomorrow so I can't stay long. “

I smiled and put my arms up for a hug. He slowly bent down and rested his head on my chest and I ran my fingers through his hair many times. “ Bitch “ I felt a little bit of wetness through the hospital gown and I strained to not get myself.

“ Jerk, “ He said so shakily that if I didn't already know what he was saying, I wouldn't be able to understand him.

“ Sammy, I'll be okay. You have to remember this isn't your fault. I got too excited and went a little too fast. I lost control but it wasn't your fault at all. Shh, it's all gonna be okay. “ He got up and wiped his eyes.

“ I know Dean, I know. It's just. I don't go anywhere without you and it's... it's hard. Like I don't even like leaving you in the car when I go in to pay for gas or get food. “ We both laugh.

“ Take this as your opportunity to prove to your big brother that you can make it on your own. * I smile and he nods. He looks over at Cas then takes his leave.


	3. The Courtyard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, how beautiful the courtyard is early in the morning. Do Castiel and Dean find the same beauty in it?

I look at the ceiling and let my tears fall freely. I felt Cas’ eyes on me but I didn’t look, didn’t dare. As I finished wiping my tears Cas sat on my bed. He rolled me on my side then rubbed my arm and ran his fingers through my hair. 

Hey, Jude, don't make it bad  
Take a sad song and make it better  
Remember to let her into your heart  
Then you can start to make it better  
Hey, Jude, don't be afraid  
You were made to go out and get her  
The minute you let her under your skin  
Then you begin to make it better  
And anytime you feel the pain,  
Hey, Jude, refrain  
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders  
For well you know that it's a fool   
Who plays it cool  
By making his world a little colder

I drifted off to his beautiful voice and gentle touch.

When I woke up Cas was asleep. He looked so peaceful. It was about 5 in the morning so I ringed for the nurse. She came in pretty fast and asked me what I wanted. 

“ Could you take me to the courtyard? It's beautiful out when it’s early. “ She smiled at me and got a wheelchair from the other room. We arrived at the courtyard in no time. She left and let me roam on my own. 

I went to the garden and examined the beautiful flowers before me. I felt a tap on my shoulder and I looked up quickly. It was my handsome roommate. He smiled at me then looked to the sky as if it was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. I looked back to the flowers and waited for the sunrise. A few nights ago, I looked up when the sun was gonna rise so Sammy and I could watch it, but I can settle for this. The sun began to rise and I looked up. 

“ How long have you been out here? “ 

“ Just a couple minutes… I was gonna watch it with Sammy today but you see how well that worked out. “ 

He sat down next to my wheelchair and hummed Hey Jude for me. He is so attractive when he sings, it makes it hard to not straight up kiss him. I ruffle his hair and sing along as he hums and keeps the beat. After what feels like forever we end the song and I just wish it could keep going; that there were more lyrics. We just sit there for a couple more minutes and listen to the birds around us, while looking up at the sky. 

“ How long have you been singing, that was beautiful. “ I look down with a confused face.

“ I can’t sing for Jack, you must be going crazy. “ I laughed but continued, “ For years. Whenever dad wasn’t pissy at me I’d sing along to the cassette tapes. Still, do. Dad died and left me, Baby. I haven’t listened to the radio since. “ 

“ That’s a true inspiration. “ He applauded and laughed.

“ Hey, it’s a very serious commitment. “ I’m trying to be serious but I just can’t stop myself from smiling. He returned the smile and laid back.

“ Just let me know when you want to go back, I could stay here all day. “ 

“Me too, but we should end up going back soon... I don’t want the nurse to bitch about us being out here for too long. “ 

“ Would you like me to take you back now? It would probably save us in the long run. “ I smile and nod. He got up and stepped behind me to take me back up to our room. He walked me up there really slowly, I almost asked why but I figured it was because of his leg. When we got to our room he helped me back in bed. He went back to his bed and got comfy. I noticed a remote on the table beside me. 

“ Hey, you wanna watch tv? “ 

He looked up at me and smiled, “ Yeah sure, put on anything. “ 

I turned on the tv to Gotham but kept flipping through channels. I finally decided on a classic rock station. 

Sam came in and laughed. 

“ What? Can I not enjoy my time while I'm here?”

“ I guess you can. I brought you coffee cause I was scared you'd be an ass to Castiel if you didn't get it. “ 

Cas watched us quarrel for a few minutes till he finally calmed down and sat next to me. 

“ Bobby’s today, right? Why are you going? You never cleared that up yesterday. “

“ Well, I might need some help fixing up Baby. She's not the easiest to fix or take apart. “ 

“ I have taken her apart and put her back together in less than twenty-four hours Sam. Come on. “ 

“ Well sorry not everyone is as cool as you. Anyway, I do need to get going. “ He stood up and walked over to Cas. He whispered something in his ear so I wouldn't hear it. He left and said his goodbyes. My absolute favorite song came on, Carry On My Wayward Son. 

“ So… what did he whisper? “

“ You need not worry. It wasn't bad. “   
I nod and grab my phone from the table next to me. I decide to text Charlie and see what she's up to. 

“ Hey, Char, what are your plans for the day? I want to invite you to something, but I don't want to mess up your day. “ 

She texted back almost instantly, “ I'm not doing anything today except reading, what's up? “ 

“ Well, I'm kinda sorta in the hospital and wanted company. Plus you'd really like my roommate. “

“ What did you do idiot!? “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this far. I sincerely hope you are enjoying it. I know I'm not an amazing writer or anything, but I love it. Sometimes ideas just flow freely ^^


	4. Charlie, you are such an ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie makes her way down to visit and completely embarrasses Dean. Shocker. Will Castiel and Dean finally make something of their relationship or will they stay friends?

“ I raced Sam and got a little too excited… come visit? Please? “ 

“ Yea yea, on my way. “ 

I briefed Cas on Charlie and told him about the Wizard of Oz play that we were both in. She arrived and gave me an eat shit and die look.

“ You are such an idiot!” She screamed as she marched to my bed. “ A stupid, selfless idiot!” 

“ I am so confused… Are you trying to insult me or compliment me? “ 

“ Is there even a difference? “ She laughs and takes my hand, “ I thought you were a racing God. I’m so disappointed. “ 

“ I still beat Sam, shut up. You can’t race for shit, so don’t make fun of my racing skills. “

“I am amazing! Don’t even! You just... Haven’t seen my skills yet. “

Cas finally spoke up, “ Will he ever see your quote on quote skills? “

“ Eventually. Once he gets better. When he stops being a dumbass, yes. “ She said it all with a smile. 

 

Cas laughed, clearly amused, “ Sounds like a plan. “ 

“ No, I shouldn't have let you two meet. You will both be the death of me. “ 

“ Well yeah, considering I did kill you in the fifth grade. Wicked Witch of the West. “ 

“ I told you to never bring that up again! “ 

“ Oh my goodness. You played the Wicked Witch of the West? That's just rich. So did they gender-bend or did you play a girl? “ 

“ We gender-bended the part… I wasn't gonna play a girl… “ 

“ Hey, Dean? Would you like me to get you anything from the food court while I'm here? “ 

“ Maybe a beer? What about you Cas? Can Charlie be of any assistance to you? “ 

“ No, thank you though. “ 

“ Okay, first of all, they don't sell beer here. Second of all come on Cas, it's no big deal. “ 

Cas smiled and declined the offer. Charlie went down to the food court and Cas and I were alone again. “ So why didn't you want anything? I promise she doesn't bite… well, she might, but not unless I give her permission. “ I wink as House of the Rising Sun came on. I saw his face light up and he started mouthing the words. 

“ I declined because I feel bad when people pay for stuff I could pay for if I was allowed to leave this bed. “ He started singing so I didn’t respond. 

“Not to do what I have done, Spend your life in sin and misery, In the house of the rising sun, I got one foot on the platform, The other on a train, And I'm goin' back to New Orleans, To swing that ball and chain, Yeah, there is a house in New Orleans, They call the rising sun, And its been the ruins of many a poor boy, And God I know I'm one “ He sang so beautifully I teared up. She left after a couple of hours of embarrassing stories and spilling secrets I’d rather not expose, it is what it is. It was about 6 pm and our dinner finally came. We had tomato soup and crackers. 

“ I can’t live off of rabbit food, I’m a warrior! “ I say, my voice noticeably getting higher. 

He laughed, “ Well all warriors go through their diets. “

After a few hours, we both ended up falling asleep. We had the same routine for the next couple of months. After about six months Cas was discharged. Before he left, however, he sang me So Long, Farewell from The Sound of Music. When he left, another patient took his place. I didn’t pay much attention to him though. The rest of my two months were pretty depressing. Sam and Charlie would visit every so often, but I still felt pretty lonely. At the end of the two months, my cast was taken off and Sam came to pick me up. I felt big arms around me and my head being pushed into someone’s shoulder, “ Well aren’t you happy to see me. “ I laugh as Sam let’s go.

“ Maybe a little, either way, I have a surprise for you. “ 

“ If you douched Baby up again, I swear I will kill you. “ 

“ Well, I don’t think I’m gonna die today. I’m gonna go sign you out then we can be on our way, okay? “ 

“ Sounds like a plan. “ When Sam leaves to check me out, I check my phone and change into clothes he brought for me. As soon as he got back we went down the elevator and almost walked out the doors. “ Sammy… Can we stop at the courtyard? I’m never gonna see Cas again and the courtyard has really good memories. “ I hold back my tears and wait for his response.

“ Yeah, of course, take your time. “ I walked out into the courtyard and went to the roses, his favorite flower. I picked one and walked back out to Sam. “ Okay, let’s go. “ We walked out the door and I burst into tears when I saw my surprise. Not only was Baby fixed but Castiel Novak was leaning against the truck waiting for me. He saw me and smiled big, he rushed over and hugged me tightly. He pulled away and took the flower, “ You remembered. Now where to? “ 

I looked to Sam who was smiling like a dork, “ Dean, you gonna answer the man? “ 

Cas wiped my eyes and took me by the hand, leading me to Baby. “ Sam, can you drive? I can’t right now… my hands are shaking too much. “ He chuckled and got in the driver’s seat while Cas and I got in the back. “ Let’s go get burgers, I promised a certain someone as soon as we both got out that I would take him for some. “ 

Sam smiled, “ If you get me some, I won’t go in with you two. I’ll just chauffeur the both of you everywhere today. “ I blushed and looked over at Cas who was blushing even worse than I was. 

“ I think we would both like that very much. “ I watched Cas fidget with the seam of his shirt all the way to the diner down the road. 

“ Alright kids, take your time but get me food. “ Sam laughs as we get out and head inside. 

After three years of dating, I finally proposed to Castiel, and he said yes. We got married on his birthday and have been married for the past thirty-five years. Sam got married to a girl named Jessica and Charlie is still a free bird. We all occasionally hang out but we are all getting pretty old. After a while, Cas and I stopped being social and we died in each other’s arms. We lived a wonderful life together and I hope everyone can be that happy at the end of their lives as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the end, but I am considering making a sequel. Let me know what you think. I also hope you enjoyed reading my art. Thank you for taking the time to actually read it through.


End file.
